Marriage: Finding Clarity in Mecca

One of the most memorable trips I’ve ever taken was to the sacred places of Mecca and Medina. Meeting family members there that are otherwise scattered across the globe was a special kind of togetherness.  I waited anxiously for that trip knowing I would be in the best place on earth for solving my most troubling questions.

I was at a loss for answers.  My marriage was clearly not a healthy one for me or my children, but after nearly twenty years, I was definitely in deep.

It hadn’t been long since he had insulted my very existence and told me to just “be invisible”.

But there we were on an amazing morning standing just outside the haram waiting for a taxi back to the hotel.  Family members had separated after fajr and I soaked up my solitude praying in front of the Kaaba.  With a busy homeschooling household and running our own business, time alone was precious …and rare.

On that morning, there was just the right amount of time and everything happened as if it had been planned to the second.

Standing in the middle of a crowd void of onlookers, I cried out my thoughts to the only One who could hear my silence.   I was undoubtedly committed to my family and I valued marriage more than I can express, but why then was my own husband repeatedly knocking me down and minimizing my value?

On that glorious morning in the midst of the most spacious place squeezed between the mountains, I finally found my answer.

I was reminded that before I was anyone’s daughter or wife, I belonged to the One – the Only – the Almighty.  He gave me worth just by giving me life. Then he magnified it with the blessing of faith and belief in Him. I knew then that after being given the greatest of honors I couldn’t allow anyone – even my husband – to reduce me to less.

I had found my resolve and the path I would eventually take was becoming clear.

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