#4 – Tips and Tricks for Successful Parenting: Getting it Right with the First Child

Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim

As Salaamu Alaikum viewers!

When you hold your first child in your arms for the very first time, it is a memory that one can never forget. Having your first child is always a special moment in life because you have your very first experience of being a parent. You probably have everything your baby may need waiting at home for him/her. Before you became a parent, you must have also learned how to raise your child, or maybe you didn’t. “Oh, no!” Don’t worry, I got you covered.

So, how do you raise another human being? Almost anything you purchase has an instructional manual on how to put the thing together or how to use it. Therefore, should you not also have a manual on how to raise a child you bring into this world? In this day and age, there is so much out there for you to learn the skills of parenting; from books to classes and from website to lectures and so on, on how to raise children. One should take advantage of this opportunity to learn.

One mistake first-time parent make is that they do not educate themselves on how to raise their child before he/she is born. This mistake will have a great effect on not only on their first child but on all the rest that come afterward. Parents usually learn from their mistakes they made with their first child and try to improve their parenting skills with the next one. This is a big error on the part of the parent. What happens is that the second child picks up the negative behavior from the first child.

Yes, it is good to learn from experiences, but with some knowledge, it will make your job much easier for you in the long run when your child becomes a teen. One should not take the risk of raising a child in ignorance because there’s so much at risk. It is part of our deen to seek knowledge. In the following verse which was the very first verse of the Quran, Allah began with the word, “Read”:

“Read. Read in the name of thy Lord who created; [He] created the human being from a blood clot. Read in the name of thy Lord who taught by the pen: [He] taught the human being what he did not know”(Quran 96: 1-5).

Tips for becoming a successful parent:

  • Read articles and books on parenting. There are a lot of good Islamic parenting books out there.
  • Go to parenting workshops.
  • Talk with parents of all ages and learn from their experience.
  • Babysit for family and friends.
  • Try to volunteer or work in a school, daycare, camps, or a weekend school to gain experience.
  • Learn from the mistakes of other parents.
  • Study the psychology of a child.
  • Study the current social climate.

-Gulmakai Popal Saleh

The Founder of Youth Under the Shade


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